USA Travel Guide

It seems like the NHRA Full Throttle Drag Racing Series speeds by fast as the dragsters themselves. The Fall Nationals took place here in Dallas just this last weekend, so perhaps we’ve still got exhaust in our blood, but now we’re hankering for more. With just four meets left to go, I’ll bet you race fans are gearing up for the big finale.

The Auto Club of Southern California NHRA Finals are barely a month away, so it’s time you started thinking about tickets if you hadn’t before. All four categories – top fuel dragster, funny car, pro stock and pro stock motorcycle – are still in contention, and if things stick to tradition, the victors won’t be decided until the wheels hit the pavement in Pomona.

The NHRA Finals offer four days of fun-fueled spectatorship, with hourly action to keep you jumping up out of your seats. Friday kicks the festivities off with nearly 11 hours of qualifying sessions, but the real action starts Saturday when the first elimination rounds are raced. Naturally, it all builds up to the big Sunday morning finales, so don’t miss’em.

Purchase tickets by the day, or make a weekend of it and pony up to the 4-day General Admission pass ($135). If you’ve got the cash to spend, you may want to upgrade to the reserved seats, an extra $30 per ticket on the 4-day.

The Automobile Club of Southern California NHRA Finals will take place at the Auto Club Raceway in Pomona, California, about 25 miles east of Los Angeles. Gates are open from November 12-15, with the qualifying series beginning on Friday the 13^th. Learn more.

Of course, I wouldn’t expect you to stay as far out as Los Angeles, not when the Radisson Suites Covina Hotel is just a few miles away. This place, probably our favorite hotel near Pomona, CA, typically offers a load of specials, so be sure to check them out to see if there’s one for you.

Have fun at the NHRA Finals!

Even with our Top 13 Haunted Houses on the books, we’re still on the lookout for bone-shuddering scares all over the country. Today, we learn that even the idyllic west coast paradise of San Diego knows how to terrify even the stoutest of hearts. Put on your rubber underwear and head out to The Scream Zone.

This ghastly grotto of the Del Mar Fairgrounds has something for everyone: old-school scares, a haunted hayride and a mind-bending maze of malice. If you plan to take on all three haunts, make sure you arrive early lest you spend all night standing in line.

With the most early exits in its trembling wake, The House of Horror is The Scream Zone’s signature haunt. In this old-fashioned haunted house, room after room strobes, fogs and drips with menace. Costumed actors made up to gory perfection and intricately disgusting sets will have you reeling every step of the way (and really, that’s just how we like it). Children under 10 are not recommended for The House of Horror.

For the younger children (but really anyone), the Haunted Hayride promises the safety of a bigger group and defined path, but don’t be surprised if you don’t feel all that safe. Creatures from beyond have this nagging habit of stalking the unfortunate souls who find themselves too far out from the light. The Haunted Hayride is less intense than the House, but it’s important to gauge your own child’s tolerance.

If you like illusion, and perhaps a little vertigo, with your terror, don’t you dare skip on The Chamber. This maze-like haunt features San Diego’s largest spinning tunnel, a common fun house contraption that creates an unsettling sense of vertigo in unprepared challengers. This best-of-both-worlds haunt is not to be missed.

I love this: The Scream Zone keeps track of its walk-outs or people who choose to leave the haunt midway (presumably because they are too scared). Last year, in only 21 or so days of business, the three haunts of The Scream Zone racked up an impressive 629 victims. That’s nearly 30 people sent screaming to the exits every night. Pretty good numbers (just remember, folks, no refunds! You did pay them to scare you after all).

The Scream Zone is located at the Del Mar Fairgrounds in Del Mar, California, just a little bit up the road from San Diego proper. The attraction is open from September 25 – October 31, though it’s not open every day. Learn more.

Since the attraction is a bit north of San Diego, we thought we’d stay a bit north of it ourselves. The Hotel La Jolla offers a fantastic shorefront location in trendy La Jolla, California about 10-15 minutes from the fairgrounds. Good restaurant, too.

Have a scary good time!

There aren’t many state fairs that demand national and even international travel, yearly pilgrimages from food and fun lovers the world over, but the State Fair of Texas in Dallas is one of them. Millions come to experience the incredible diversity and outrageous personality of the nation’s largest state fair. If you’ve never been, make this your year.

I suppose the State Fair of Texas isn’t so different than most other state fairs. There’s just a lot more of it. From endless rows of concession stands dishing up all kinds of unique favorites to free concerts and one-of-a-kind shows, the Fair offers minute-to-minute entertainment for the whole family, all of their friends and even some of their enemies.

The full-blown, 300,000 square-foot Auto Show is an annual head-turner. Thanks to the size of the space and the size of the audience, both national and international automakers often choose the State Fair of Texas Auto Show to debut new product, whether it’s a future/retro concept ride or something you can expect to see on the lots next year. The adjacent Classic Corral is a popular stop for true car buffs, featuring more than 1,000 vintage and collectible automobiles.

But I won’t tease you any longer. We all know the real star of whole the shebang is the food! It started with the best corn dog in the world, the Fletcher’s Corn Dog, and has expanded year after year into a deep fried empire. Bring an appetite and plenty of friends for sharing to take on these deep-fried delights:

• Deep-Fried Butter, this marquee snack is exactly what it sounds like
• Deep-Fried Peanuts
• Chicken-Fried Bacon
• Deep-Fried Nutter Butters, my fav
• Fried Apple w/ Peanut Butter on a Stick
• Deep-Fried Pizza, pepperoni or sausage
• Deep-Fried, Chocolate-Dipped Jalapeños
• Southern Fried Fajitas, the meat is deep-fried
• Deep-Fried Banana Split
• Deep-Fried Oreos, Snickers, Twinkies, Truffles

You’ll find more traditional treats as well, like burgers and fries, but what would be the point. You can get those anywhere. When you come to the State Fair of Texas, you owe it to yourself to go deep-fried.

Entertainment abounds. Between meals (or during), talk a stroll through the vendor pavilions, sure to be selling everything from blenders that can do your taxes to Sham-wows, which I find even more amazing. If you need to rest your feet, find a cozy place to site near the main stage. All concerts are free with your admission, and this year’s big name line-up includes Idol-alum Jason Castro, Edwin McCain, Miranda Lambert, En Vogue, The Commodores and several others.

I just don’t have the space to mention it all: there’s a livestock show, daily entertainment programs throughout the park, cooking classes and demonstrations, a humongous carnival midway (also where you’ll find a lot of the best food), nightly water shows, the starlight parade, and of course the Red River Shootout, the hotly-anticipated match up between the University of Texas Longhorns and the University of Oklahoma Sooners. The RRR is hosted at the Cotton Bowl, situated in the center of the park. You can’t miss it.

They’re even taping the Oprah Winfrey Show at the Fair on October 12.

I’ve scratched the surface, but really you need to see it for yourself. The 2009 State Fair of Texas is currently ongoing and will run daily through October 18. The Fair is located at Fair Park in Dallas, Texas. Learn more.

Have fun at the State Fair of Texas!

In a way, the folks at Nightmare in Manhattan, New York City are hard to predict, but in another way, they’re not. You see, they change up their attraction big time every year, so I can’t really tell you how good this year’s show is. But then again, I sort of can, because every year the haunt is fantastic, and we absolutely trust they’ll deliver again.

They’ve chosen the hottest topic in the world, vampires, but I can assure you that Nightmare: Vampires will be no Twilight (or Vampire in Brooklyn for that matter). Every year, Nightmare stands apart by not trying to please everyone. You won’t find “family-friendly” on the marquee. They gear their haunts towards an adult crowd, and they don’t seem satisfied until even the most grizzled guest cries out for his mama. (And in fact, the haunt openly discourages bringing children, though they are allowed).

In a fun bit of spooky synergy, Nightmare: Vampires will be hosted in and around the brand new Museum of Vampyric Artifacts (MoVa), the world’s first all-vampire museum. On Mondays and Tuesdays, you can visit just the museum for a more friendly, not to mention well-lit, stroll through the fascinating galleries. The exhibits blend painstakingly crafted “artifacts” with information and attractions delineating the myths and searching for the substance behind the stories.

Come nighttime though, the humble, if perverse, museum becomes a real nightmare. The blood-sucking subjects of the MoVa have come for an evening meal, and I don’t think I have to tell you what (or who) is on the menu. Expect frightful undead, a lusty celebration of gore and plenty of the red stuff.

This year they’re hosting a sideline attraction as well, Nightmare: 666. This brief “dark” magic show has a salaciously sinister side. Included with regular ticket admission, there’s no reason to miss it.

Speaking of tickets, pretty much the only downside to Nightmare is that at 45-60 minutes of entertainment, the price is a little steep. $30 for advance purchase tickets, $35 at the door (which may not be available, pending sellouts). If you’re driving in, you may be looking at an additional $10 for limited-duration parking. Unfortunately, that’s New York for ya.

Nightmare: Vampires starts in reign of terror on September 25 and goes through November 7, varying hours and schedules daily. Events are located at the Museum of Vampyric Artifacts at the NoHo Event Center (623 Broadway). Learn more.

Two great choices of hotels in Manhattan, New York City, each located less than two miles from the NoHo Event Center. 

• Crowne Plaza Times Square Hotel
• Hotel Reserve

Have fun at our favorite haunted house in New York City!

Seems like every time we head to Florida we talk about some horizon-blotting, ecological footprint-having, multimillion dollar man-made thing – from Disneyworld to Universal Studios to the Kennedy Space Center. Don’t get me wrong, we love’em, but I thought we’d take a step back this time and let the natural beauty of the Florida coastline speak for itself. It’s time to check out the Wild Side Tours of Cocoa Beach, Florida.

Okay, so the boat is certainly man-made, but the scenery is pure Mother Nature. The Wild Side Tours Company boasts a catalog of nature, sunset and variety tours highlighting the Thousand Islands nature reserve near Cocoa Beach, Florida. Load up on a cozy 22-passenger catamaran and listen to the relaxing tones of the shoreline, the coastal birds and Captain Ben, a retired science teacher and all-round Florida enthusiast.

From the Banana River to the Thousand Islands, the estuaries of the Indian River support a more diverse ecology than anywhere else in the United States, and thanks to the smaller format of the tour, Captain Ben can take you closer than any other.

The sight and sounds of the daily cruises varies by the season. Right now, expect to see vibrant flocks of tropical birds, the splashing of playful dolphins and, through the end of October, the blubbery sea cow itself, the manatee. During the height of the summer season, the area population of manatees bloats to one of the largest along our national coastline, making for some great sightseeing opportunities. (And don’t worry, Captain Ben knows how to drive for the safety of both passengers and aquatic friends below).

From November to May, called the dry season, sunset cruises are especially popular. The radiant beauty of the Florida coast and the Thousands Islands at sunset should be on everyone’s life time must-see list. Captain Ben also hosts the occasional variety tour, like shuttle launch viewings. Again, the boat only holds 20 paying passengers, so request tickets early for these events (check the calendar on the Web site for upcoming events).

Wild Side Tours also offers fishing tours (once again, Captain Ben proves the able professional) as well as private charters for everything from professional nature photography groups to unforgettable birthday parties.

Regular cruises last 2 – 2 ½ hours and cover 10-15 miles. Regular adult admission is $32. Learn more about Wild Side Tours of Cocoa Beach, Florida.

Stay just a few minutes from the dock, and enjoy a comfortable family hotel in Cocoa Beach, at the Holiday Inn Cocoa Beach Resort Hotel. This surprisingly affordable property feature amenities well beyond your average Holiday Inn, including extensive sports and game facilities.

Have fun!

You can’t just go to any ol’ museum and see simultaneous exhibits about the art of Dr. Seuss, Mexican toys and the unusual traits of deep sea animals. No, for programming that eclectic, you’ve got to go someplace with balls. You got to go to the Fresno Metropolitan Museum of Art & Science in Fresno, California.

By blending art and science exhibits into one diverse shebang, the Fresno Metropolitan Museum has an undoubted cool factor that never fails to please adults and children alike. The extensive art collections, both permanent and traveling, set the tone of the visit. The Met feels more like an art museum. However, you never know when you’ll turn a corner and lose yourself on an exploratory adventure to the South Pole. Kids especially love the fascinating interactive science exhibits.

It’s hard to know what to recommend. The Met is soon to undergo a bit of a seasonal shift, with nearly all of the temporary exhibits swapping out over the next couple months. Upcoming exhibits that pique my interest include a retrospective on the Art of Dr. Seuss (really a very interesting man, if you’ve never read up on him), to a science exhibit on the history and profound effect of wood in our lives.

Another thing you can count on at the Fresno Metropolitan Museum is a busy calendar of fanciful events. Whether it’s the Science of Beer for Oktoberfest (seats limited, but still available) or Green Eggs and Cocktails, a 21-and-up kick-off party for the upcoming Dr. Seuss exhibit. See the event list.

The Fresno Metropolitan Museum of Art & Science is located in downtown Fresno, California. Doors open 10:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m., Wednesday – Sunday. Regular admission is just $9, free guided tours available. The Fresno Met is a Smithsonian Institute affiliate.

Learn more.

In literal walking distance to the museum is a hotel we’ve mentioned in the past, the Holiday Inn Fresno Downtown Hotel. The hotel offers free high-speed Internet and free weekend parking.

Have fun!

All over the country, the scare-tainment season will officially kick off over the next few days. Here at USA Travel Guide, we thought, what better time to release our list of the Top 13 Haunted Houses in America!

What are we looking for? Obviously, fright is the number one thing. Any haunted house, scare park, or haunted attraction that delivers true terror deserves the adoration of scare-fans everyone, because that’s no easy thing to pull off. So difficult, in fact, that we can’t base our list on scares alone.

We’ve also taken into consideration the design, both set and creature, the variety, the guest value, the creativity of the haunt and for me personally, the story. We’re looking for more than a cheap thrill. We want to be taken on a journey. Follow our picks below, and that’s just what you’ll get.

Find below our pick for Best Haunted House of 2009 as well as the 12 runners-up in no particular order. Please enjoy our Top 13 Haunted Houses in America.

The #1 Haunted House of 2009

The Darkness in St. Louis, Missouri
The Darkness is kind of a big deal. This 2 million-dollar haunted attraction features beyond-Hollywood quality set work, fifty live actors and more than one hundred animated monsters in a massive complex. The Darkness does things at a remarkable scale, with a kitchen-sink approach segueing one fascinating room to the next. Surprisingly, the results are demonically delicious and not the least bit tame, commercial or “Hollywoody”. After collecting your calm, you’ll understand why The Darkness continues to rake in the awards after 15 years of frightful success.

September 18 – October 31; days vary. Web site.

The 12 Runners-Up (in no particular order)

Terror Behind the Walls in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Located in the decommissioned Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia, PA, Terror Behind the Walls is definitely one of the top haunted houses in America. Out of season, the prison is already notorious for hauntings and being the one-time home of gangster Al Capone. Special Halloween programming only ratchets up the terror, putting the naturally frightening environment to devilish good work. Our favorite attraction is “Night Watch” a super-intense stroll with only your flashlight to lead the way.

September 18 – November 7; days vary. Web site.

Erebus Haunted House in Pontiac, Michigan
Boy do they line up for this one! Erebus in Pontiac, Michigan is perhaps best known for its sheer enormity. In 2005, the 4-story, single haunt attraction was recognized as the world’s largest walk-through haunted house by the Guinness Book of World Records (this record was later stolen by Cutting Edge in Fort Worth, Texas). Incredible effects stand out the most, drenching every last scare room in gory detail.

September 25 – November 1; days vary. Web site.

Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas
Almost as soon as it had come, the “World’s Largest Haunted House” moniker left Pontiac and came down to Dallas-Fort Worth and Cutting Edge Haunted House. Despite the immense size (235,000 sq. ft.), Cutting Edge doesn’t use too many over-the-top antics, instead relying on classic scare-tactics like atmosphere and good design. Unusual among professional haunts, Cutting Edge encourages guests to wear costumes. Definitely not for the snake-averse.

September 5 – November 13; days vary. Web site.

Bates Motel in Glen Mills, Pennsylvania
While the Bates Motel haunted house is good for a scare or ten, it’s actually the twenty-minute haunted hayride that beckons guests back year after year. Always changing, always getting better, this may be the best and certainly the scariest haunted hayride in the country. While the awesome sets and ghoulish characters offer plenty a disturbing sight, the safety of the format makes this a perfect option for kids and squeamish adults alike. The haunted corn maze is also worth a walk, because as we all know, corn is scary.

October 2 – November 1; days vary. Web site.

Asylum & Hotel Fear in Las Vegas, Nevada
An ideal example of the story-driven scare. Asylum and Hotel Fear, hosted at the same location for the first time in 2009, each tells the story of Mortimer Feoray, troubled child turned madman. Visit the subject’s former home at Hotel Fear, then experience his new “haunt” at the Asylum. The settings have creep-factor to spare, and it’s fun to see two entirely unique houses reveal unexpected connections over the course of your night. Doubtless two of the best haunted houses in Las Vegas.

October 1 – November 1; days vary. Web site.

House of Shock in New Orleans, Louisiana
Going from your average haunted attraction to the House of Shock in New Orleans is like going from Papa Roach to Cannibal Corpse. Fire, freaks, blood, pentagrams, devil-worship – House of Shock goes there, and it’s got the reputation to prove it. The actual house is terrible in all the best ways, with an affronting, in-your-face style that goes further than most (and may put off some). Unique also is the pyro-erotic (pyrotic?) stage show featuring fire, stunts and more fire. A freak sideshow only adds to the otherworldly appeal.

October 2 – 31; days vary. Web site.

USS Nightmare in Newport, Kentucky
The official slogan of the USS Nightmare is “Prepare to Have the Ship Scared Out of You”. Does that even qualify as a pun? Levity aside, building a haunted maze into a real-life steamboat proves a killer idea. The imagery and atmosphere of the USS Nightmare is unsettling, but not too gruesome, making it one of the best haunted houses in America for families. Be sure to read the story of ship on the Web site before you go to get yourself in the proper mood.

September 21 – November 1; days vary. Web site.

Netherworld Haunted House in Atlanta, Georgia
Not for the faint of heart, Netherworld offers two super-intense haunted attractions, both of which deliver that all-important thing: terror! We like a lot of these attractions for a lot of different reasons, and we like Netherworld because it is truly scary. Masterfully crafted sets emphasize just the right details, the kind of horror that can shake you to the bones with just a glimpse. And a glimpse is often all you will get, as both attractions are very dark. Arrive early to avoid the lines. Like ravenous zombies, people show up for this one in hordes.

September 25 – November 14; days vary. Web site.

Dreamreapers in Melrose Park, Illinois
If you’re in the mood for a little Chi-town terror, then Dreamreapers is the place to go. While they do use hi-tech wizardry from time to time, Dreamreapers actually has an old-school vibe that we really get into. The scares are based on performance and misdirection, not always the most impressive gadget. Unusually, Dreamreapers features scented rooms, transporting the mind’s eye to unseen nightmares all the more unnerving.

September 25 – October 31; days vary. Web site.

13^th Gate Haunted House in Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Another easy choice for our top haunted houses in America. The folks at Midnight Productions are professional scare-meisters who spend all year dreaming up, and building, new ways to scare the crap out of you. The best of their best ideas make it into the 13^th Gate, a lengthy journey through 13 themed zones aimed at everyone’s worst nightmares. While there is plenty of ghoulish blood-letting to be had, 13^th Gate is particularly adept at exploiting your natural fears, from claustrophobia to live snakes and bugs to so many others. For even more fun, show up on any post-Halloween date to experience the entire attraction gone dark. Only weak LED flashlights guide you through the dark.

September 24 – November 13; days vary. Web site.

7 Floors of Hell in Cleveland, Ohio
Don’t jump to conclusions based on the name. This is not the haunted house that gives you your money back if you make it to the top. That place doesn’t exist, because it would go out of business two days into its first season. However, 7 Floors of Hell is an incredible seven haunted attractions offered at one very reasonable combo price (seriously, they are undercharging). Every house offers a new theme – zombies, human butchery, dark magic – and a new kind of terror. 7 Floors of Hell is a great deal, a great night and one of the best haunted houses in America.

September 25 – October 31; days vary. Web site.

The Beast & The Edge of Hell in Kansas City, Missouri
You’ll pay for the combo ticket, and we just hope you have the fortitude to queue up for that second haunt. The Beast & The Edge of Hell in Kansas City, Missouri scare up a good time on a huge scale. Both attractions are large enough to fit several average haunted houses inside, and fortunately for you, with big digs come big frights. Along with spooky set work and menacing monsters, both The Edge of Hell and The Beast incorporate live animals in the show. In fact, The Edge of Hell is quite possibly the world’s scariest zoo, and The Beast is just one of the top Halloween attractions period.

September 4 – November 1; days vary. Web site.

There, enough bloodcurdling horror to shake you right out of your boots. Please let us know what your think of our Top 13 Haunted Houses in America in the comments below. And please, recommend your favorites for the best haunted houses in America.

Let’s all work together to make this season a real Shocktober!

Sorry for the late notice on this one. I waited as long as I could for organizers to announce some final information, especially the concert schedule, but I fear if I wait any longer then no one will have time to put their plans together.

Concerts or no, the 2009 California Avocado Festival in Carpinteria, California is a tasty good time. Prepare to Rock Out with your Guac Out! (I am shamed)

Of all the delicious foods to get their own festivals – corn, artichokes, strawberries, salsa, garlic, onions, apples – I don’t know if there could be one more fitting than avocado. It’s scrumptious, it’s good for you, and more so than any of the above mentioned, it has a desperate need for a little creativity in the kitchen. I’m calling a moratorium on guacamole for the type-cast green guys. I want to know what else they’ve got.

The California Avocado Festival is a good place to find out. Sure, they put on the requisite guacamole contest, but among the thirty concession booths you’ll discover plenty of other avocado treats to try. It varies. Stuffed avocado, fried avocado, avocado ice cream, you never know what you might find. And yes, there will be plenty of guac for those of you who need a security blanket. In fact, they boast the world’s largest vat of guacamole. (Go for it if you want. I follow a personal rule that disallows me from eating any food scooped from a vat.)

Other festival favorites include the art and crafts booths and, for younger visitors, the Kid’s Block Party featuring face-painting, games and entertainment.

The festival also runs three live music stages welcoming more than 60 acts over the course of three days. I’d love to tell you who they are, really I would, but we’re still waiting on that information from the organizers. Cutting it kind of close, ladies and gents.

Here’s some cool news: the California Avocado Festival is free. You pay for food and drink, but no admission charge means it’s still easily affordable to bring along the whole family, plus friends.

The 2009 California Avocado Festival runs from October 2-4 in downtown Carpinteria, California. Hours vary by the day; maps are available on the Web site.

If you’re traveling in the area, we like the Holiday Inn Santa Barbara – Goleta Hotel in neighboring Santa Barbara. Your stay will make for an easy trip to the festival and offers easy access to plenty more in the Santa Barbara area.

And Now, Steven’s Guacamole Recipe
Considering my statements above, I thought this was only fair. A proper guacamole is, in fact, not guacamole at all. It is seasoned and chopped avocado. Most guacamoles taste like onion and cilantro and lime juice. My guacamole tastes like avocado. So here it is:

Avocados, chopped medium (never mashed)
Garlic salt to taste
Lime juice, just enough to prevent browning

There. Stop. Just walk away. Don’t you touch it again unless it’s to put a tortilla chip in there. If you’re avocados are good, then it doesn’t need anything else.

You’re welcome!

You can tell a good scare park by the names of the attractions. If they’re genuinely scary, or genuinely cheesy, you’re in for a good time. If they’re boring, well, then you’re not. With names like Leave it to Cleaver, Lights Camera Hacktion, and Horrorwood Die-In, it’s pretty obvious where Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios in Orlando lies.

We’re barely more than a week away from the start of all the Halloween scare-tainment, and we’ve got another big one for you. Halloween Horror Nights has the budget and real estate of a major theme park behind it, and they’ve managed to pack it dangerously full of movie magic, nostalgic fun and some blood-curdling frights. “Amusement Today” even voted it the country’s best Halloween event.

In keeping with the spirit of the park, the theme of Halloween Horror Nights is “ripped from the Silver Screen”. Classic, and some not-so-classic, movie monsters have escaped their celluloid prisons and have taken up scaring the heebie-jeebies out of the guests. With an entire park at its disposal, Halloween Horror Nights offers a staggering 8 haunted houses, 6 scare zones and even two live shows.

We know it’s the houses that matter most, and we recommend pushing hard and seeing as many as you can. A maze based on the Saw franchise sounds gruesome enough, though the promise to make the guest “feel pain” is one promise they (hopefully) can’t keep. Chucky: Friends Til the End is a terrifying romp in the world of a most demented doll. But the most disturbing and delightfully twisted of all must be Leave it to Cleaver. I think their writers put it best: “Meet me at Meetz…the Z stands for Cannibal.”

Speaking of cannibals: Apocalypse: City of Cannibals sounds like one particularly unpleasant scare zone, and it’s joined by other nasty neighborhoods like the Horrorwood Die-In, a theme town based on the upcoming vampire picture Cirque du Freak, and the simply titled Containment. You can also see a live tribute to The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and a Halloween-themed tribute to my wife’s all time favorite, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

General admission is $69.99 online and can sell out, so be sure to purchase for specific dates in advance. If you’re an area resident, you can save additional money at the Florida resident rate, and also take advantage of the Frequent Fear Pass, which offers admission on 13 specific days for the price of one. Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Orlando runs from September 25 through October 31, dark Mondays and Tuesdays.

This event is not recommended for children under 13. Learn more about it all here.

Stay near to the park at one of our favorite hotels in Orlando, Florida, the Holiday Inn Orlando International Drive. They’re currently offering a package with tickets to Universal Studios, so why not check out the regular park once before seeing the whole thing with gory new eyes the next day?

Have fun at Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Orlando.

I’ve said before that Dallas, Texas really isn’t the hopping’est place when it comes to real haunts. Maybe a little further down south where the wars were fought, but up here in North Texas we pretty much have to make our own fun. That, I imagine, is why we have so many terrific haunted houses.

From the suburbs to downtown to all the way out in Fort Worth (especially out in Fort Worth), you can find ghoulishly-good thrill-tainment in Dallas, Texas come Halloween. You can also find a whole lotta crap. Get your howls and avoid the ho-hums by heading to the Dallas ScareGrounds just minutes from downtown near the Design District.

The ScareGrounds have a history of frightening the pants off of unsuspecting Dallasites. Since first opening in 1996, the grounds have become a bit of a local institution, drawing not only thousands of fear-fanatics but also local news and plenty of local and national awards. With continued success, the ScareGrounds have continued to improve, and the experience today is better than ever.

The Dallas ScareGrounds offers 3 horrific haunts to explore, all for the price of one ticket. Unless the lines just won’t have it, start your night at the original 1996 ScareGrounds haunt, The Terrortorium. The classic jump-maze blends gruesome scenery, the fear of near-darkness and jump-out thrills.

Next comes the Gothic horror of the Necrotorium, a lonely walk through a fetid cemetery. Do the dead lurk this night of all nights? Chances are good.

The third haunt is different, and it’s certainly not for everybody. Hallucinatorium uses ChromaDepth 3D technology to create a full-size 3D haunted maze. As trippy as it is unsettling, Hallucinatorium gives me a headache, but I know a lot of people that love it. Besides, it’s included in the ticket, so might as well go for it.

One of the cool things about the Dallas ScareGrounds is that they actually run a simultaneous festival. Before, after, or between haunts, fuel up you courage with some tasty fair food, play a few carnival games or just kick back and forget about the whole haunted house thing with some live music. It’s not about to replace the State Fair of Texas (more on that in a future post), but again, it’s included with the ticket, why not enjoy it?

The Dallas ScareGrounds run from September 25 – October 31, weekends and some weekdays. General admission is $20 and grants access to the festival grounds and all three haunted houses. That’s a pretty good deal. Learn more.

For Dallas area hotels, the sky’s the limit really, but we’re consistent fans of the Doubletree Club Dallas – Farmers Branch. It’s not located in the city proper, but it’s a cozy stay at a good price, and the drive to anywhere you want to be is a piece of cake, provided you avoid the rush hour.

Have fun at the Dallas ScareGrounds this Halloween.